This post is an honest post about my little bambi so far, It is a very honest and personal post... Every pregnancy is different so please take this with a pinch of salt but this is my experience.
Gosh I feel niave to pregnancy thats for sure, I mean i'm a new mum to be and new to pregnancy but you don't think about all the smaller issues that can happened that then later build up with time.
I am going to break this chit chat down in to sub headings because it'll be a little easier.
At this current time my little baby can hear our voices and has little brows and lashes, so super cute. I have quite a few baby apps and they are amazing. They explain week by week and show little images of babies progress, they are also very reassuring on any symptoms you have.
Were having a BOY
SO yes you may have seen on my social media that we are having a little boy. I am so excited and I knew our baby was a boy. The only problem is .. We don't have any names at all. I literally hate every name!!!
Okay so I went to the midwife a few weeks ago and she asked me if I had felt baby move. I laughed and said "Well I think so and then i just think its wind tbh", She laughed and said "No its probably baby moving". The morning after I was awake laying in bed with my hand on my lower right hand side tummy and I felt baby move!!! It was insane... It felt like a very soft brush against my hand, it was lovely yet feels so bizarre at the same time.
He is now super strong and when he kicks me it makes me instantly smile. I can feel him doing little flips in my belly.. It feels so bizarre like a sickness butterfly feeling. He kicked me so hard today it actually jumped me! He's going to have a great left kick like his daddy!
Everyones pregnancy is completely different and although I do have a few things happening that should make me feel very low mentally it doesn't. My medical is no secret and in some of the early weeks of my pregnancy my seizures returned.
I am a high risk patent and high risk pregnancy which made me very anxious for the first few weeks. Rob was filled with excitement were as I then started to question why i'm not excited, the mind is very powerful and can be very dangerous. I was honest about my thoughts with the midwife but she was very reassuring.
Since finding our about my pregnancy along with the usual pregnancy symptoms, fatigue, morning sickness, constipation, dizziness ect ect ect I have also been told I have a blood disease, My kidney is currently leaking glucose and I have a pregnancy consultant for the seizures.
These things happen, You cant change anything so its literally taking it on board and learning about what any next potential steps are. I am positive though, every day is completely
I have finally been diagnosed for my seizures, the diagnosis is NEAD which stands for Non epileptic attack disorder. I am happy I finally have answers but needless to say the only reason I have answers is because my pregnancy gave someone a kick up the arse to get me sorted. I am still learning about this myself and will post another time on it. I have additional hospital appointments to talk to a consultant and the next appointment is to talk about health and safety with a new born.
I have literally worked out once ... a few weeks ago on a Sunday I was so motivated to hit the gym because I want to keep active but its hard. When I arrived there I actually fell up the steps ( I didn't fall) but I thought to myself "You actual twat and your walking in the gym?".
In the end I manages 30 mins on the tred BUT when I was home I slept for hours. It's just going to be a case of learning how to balance it all and I think even 30 minutes was too much too soon. Working out at home is a little easier though, It's more of a case of a few home exercises for now.
Unfortunately for me I still have morning sickness even on my medication but it is sooo much better than what it was so it is a little more manageable, however I would be lying if I said it hasn't made me cry.
It is exhausting vomiting every single day, I even base my food and snacks on what I want to vomit up, actually bizarre. If I go for dinner I literally sit and think to myself "But do you fancy throwing that back up though", As you can imagine I haven't eaten spices since before my sickness started. Usually it is supposed to stop around week 12 SO THEY SAY... week 22 and it is still going strong!
I carry a little mouth wash around with me in my hand bag because you get this horrid taste in your mouth and that even makes me sick, So off to the sink and i will do a quick swish of mouth wash! So Glam!!
When i'm sick I burst tiny blood vessels in my face from pure pressure and straining...
Check out the image below, trust me pregnancy can be savage but it's worth it!!
Fatigue & backpain
I am usually exhausted around 2:30/3pm ish, It is totally brain shut down time... So when i'm working it is a struggle to even function a basic sentence to a customer. The lower part of my back is starting to ache which I have noticed!!
Anxiety in pregnancy
Yes, it happens of course is does, IT IS NORMAL.
Any slight pain in the tummy and you think shit whats happening, When in reality if your not pregnant you would just brush it off as a belly pain or something. I think I will have anxiety for a number of reasons .. Pregnant, new mum and shitty health issues.
Only around two weeks ago that I put 2lbs on. (week 20) I have been so anxious that my baby isn't getting all the good things it needs. It's because with the sickness I can eat and chuck it back up either straight way or up to 30 minutes later.
Imagine waking up every morning and jumping on the scales in the hope you've actually put weight on, how weird right? But yes thats literally what I've been doing.. I did notice I was getting in a habbit I was becoming anxious with it. I still weigh myself now but every other day and as long as i'm eating and drinking lots of water than I know my little dudes ok.
We are now 18 weeks away from meeting out little boy and I am so excited!!!
Sorry its taken so long!
Love you all xox